Mistakes


Some people do not have a plan for the day or week, nor do they assign priorities. The result is shambles, things not done or not done in time, unhappy partners, family membersĀ  or clients etc. To have good intentions to do everything will end in disaster. Intentions are good, setting priorities is a lot better!

I’ve recently posted about goal setting and perfection. Both these disciplines come into play when setting the right priorities:

It’s not clever to plan the entire day or week and have every hour filled. If you do this you’ll start to overload and get into a pressure situation. Therefore when you do your “To Do” List, keep as much time as possible open, at least one third of a day should not be filled. Keep unassigned time for family, friends and yourself!

Take your Goals List and break it down into activities, add the dayly recurring activities and then look at the list again:

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Does this task need to be done immediately, is it urgent?
  • Is this task important?
  • Is this urgent AND important?
  • Is this task NOT important and NOT urgent?

Now order the tasks accordingly:

  • URGENT AND IMPORTANT: Do these tasks first.
  • IMPORTANT: Do these tasks next.

Eliminate the ‘not important’ tasks. They are time wasters and don’t bring you one step towards your goals. The 80 / 20 rules applies here too: Only 20% of all tasks are urgent and important. The other 80% don’t help you reach your goals!

It will take a bit of getting used to not doing everything you have on your initial list. But you’ll get better at this as you learn to select and judge what is really important to you. I can’t and don’t want to give examples here, because every person has his/her own priorities and goals. You’ll make mistakes at occasion, but that’s fine! We all make mistakes. So don’t let these mistakes stop you from making your “To Do” Lis.

Here’s an audiobook that might help you setting your own priorites better:

All of us are looking for practical ways to take control of our lives, whether in our personal relationships, our families, our work, our health, or our future plans. Daily challenges have a way of overwhelming us, making life harder than it needs to be. The good news is that the answers are out there. And they are Easier Than You Think: In the audiobook ‘Easier Than You Think’ Richard Carlson, Ph.D. tells you how to juggle the tasks without dropping the important ones.

Advertisements

Tolerance to accept new ideas, or ideas and beliefs opposite to your own, is important.

Tolerance does not mean you have to adapt everything all others believe or do, but you should keep an open mind, eye and ear for the ideas and beliefs of others. Doing so might just add some know-how to your own treasure chest of life experience and knowledge!

Tolerance needs to be cultivated, because it’s not at all easy to not simply say “Bullshit” and to move on. It takes a lot more effort on your part to first listen or read something that is opposite to your beliefs and habits, or that is new and seems strange at first, and then to think about it.

By going through this process of allowing new thoughts, digesting them and then making your own mind up before simply rejecting anything new and unusual you will discover facettes of the world and of people around you that otherwise would simply bypass you.

  • When you are reading, read with an open mind. Write the questions that come to mind and that you would like to find answers, in the margins. Then take action and research, ask others, look things up on the internet.
  • When you encounter something new and unusual, try to understand what the motivation and drive behind it is and don’t just dismiss it outright.
  • Accept that others have a different opinion and the right to have it.
  • Accept that you or anybody else does not have the absolute monopole and truth about anything.

The key to tolerance is the ability to listen. This is a great audio on listening: ‘Listening: The Forgotten Skill’. Madelyn Burley-Allen shows in this audio how to improve listening skills and how to eliminate distractions and improve your concentration on what is being said; how to locate key words, phrases, and ideas while listening; how to cut through your own listening biases. In the audio you also learn how to ask constructive, non-threatening questions that will provide you with real information in the answers.

Don’t let your subconcious mind take over when it comes to listening and tolerance. You can program yourself to accept ideas and then make up your mind, rather than simply reject the unknown, unusual and new!

Parenting is a big challenge for us all. And it’s not getting easier these days with the enormous outside influences that kids are exposed to today. But really, not all that much has changed!

We can not teach our children everything, many experiences will have to be made by themselves and we can not protect them from all evil in the world. Our job is only to help them build a solid foundation and life philosophy that will carry them through the ups and downs of life. John Gray a parent and communications expert has develped a system that will help you achieve this. John, completing the notion that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, he adds

…and Children are from Heaven

In his audiobook ‘Children are from Heaven’ John Gray says that the five positive messages your children need to learn again and again are these:

  • It’s okay to be different.
  • It’s okay to make mistakes.
  • It’s okay to express negative emotions.
  • It’s okay to want more.
  • It’s okay to say no, but remember Mom and Dad are the bosses.

When these messages are put into practice — and John Gray shows you how — your children will develop the necessary skills for successful living:

  • forgiveness of others and themselves
  • sharing
  • delayed gratification
  • self-esteem
  • patience
  • persistence
  • respect for others and themselves
  • cooperation
  • compassion
  • confidence
  • the ability to be happy.

By applying the five messages and different skills of positive parenting, your children will recieve what they need to become more cooperative, confident, and compassionate children.